Hi everyone,
CC here, just hopping on with another blog post.
Today, I want to talk about the main focus of this movement and the reason I exist: the clitoris.
I’ve been a part of female anatomy since, well, forever. Yet, I have long been a forgotten part of anatomy, sex, intimacy, and conversation. I want to change that, starting the conversation right here, today.
HELLO! I am the clitoris! I go by many names—bean, button, clit, bud, bundle of nerves, nub, core, peak, and, my personal favorite, the devil’s doorbell. But truly, I am the clitoris. I have double the number of nerve endings as the tip of a penis, yet I am often forgotten in sexual encounters or pleasure-seeking moments.
Women live in an increasingly male-dominated world, and this permeates many of our sexual experiences. In the article “The Orgasm Gap and Why Women Climax Less Than Men,” Laurie Mintz states, “In one study of more than 50,000 people, 95% of heterosexual men said they usually or always orgasm when sexually intimate, while only 65% of heterosexual women said the same.” That’s a huge gap, and a lot of people wonder why. Why is it so difficult to reach an orgasm with a partner?
There could be a variety of reasons. However, Mintz explains, “Many studies show that women orgasm more when alone than with a partner.” So, is it that orgasms are elusive, or is the focus of sexual interaction simply not on female pleasure? Women can often reach orgasm efficiently on their own. In fact, “[at] least 92% of women orgasm when pleasuring themselves” (Mintz). So, what’s the difference?
Me. The clitoris.
When women are alone—or even in same-sex encounters—they have a significantly higher rate of reaching orgasm because of the greater focus on clitoral stimulation. The vast majority of women cannot reach orgasm from penetration alone. 96% of women rely on clitoral stimulation to climax. Therefore, the reason women aren’t reaching orgasm during sex is often that the clitoris isn’t part of the equation! So much of what society reads, views, and hears about sex is through the male gaze and in support of the male ego. Meanwhile, “studies suggest that between 53% to 85% of women admit to faking an orgasm. Some research indicates that the majority of women have faked at least once in their lifetime” (Mintz).
Women frequently put aside their emotions, issues, and pleasure to appease their male partners. This needs to stop.
The clitoris deserves to be at the forefront of every sexual encounter. It needs foreplay, not just penetration! We need to close the pleasure gap together by reminding ourselves and our partners that we are worthy of pleasure. We are worthy of taking the time to learn what we like. We are worthy of keeping the conversation going to dismantle stereotypes that reduce women to tools for men’s pleasure.
Let’s talk.
Let’s learn.
Together.
In pleasure,
CC